4) Adele: 1968
This is both my favourite and the least reliable of all the stories here today. It’s my fave because it’s set in the UK – Scarborough – and it sounds like it’s an MIB visit gone wrong; and it’s the most unreliable because it’s come from the mouth of a child, and we all know that those little guys, as sweet as they are, are complete and utter retards who don’t know what’s going on 85% of the time. They can’t be trusted not to wet themselves, let alone be trusted to recount a visit of an insurance salesman. Here’s what went down according to Adele (a pseudonym).
Adele answered the door to what she thought was an insurance salesman. He was tall, wore a black suit and tie, and had a ‘florid’ complexion; text-book MIB.
The MIB stared at the girl and smiled for a unnervingly weird length of time. Adele reported that he ‘jerked’ into action and asked Adele “do you have insurance? Is it now?” His voice sounded robotic.
She asked the weirdo insurance salesman to come back later when her folks were home. All of a sudden the MIB began to sweat like an Eskimo in Baghdad. He took off his hat showing a bald, milky pale head. Adele noticed he was wearing makeup to darken his face.
“Can I see a glass of water?” the MIB asked. Adele invited the chap in (stranger danger and thoughts of pedophilia hadn’t been invented yet) and poured him a glass of water. The MIB simply looked at the glass of water and put it down.
Next, he turned his attention to a clock on the mantelpiece. Adele told the MIB that the clock was her father’s retirement present, which seemed to spin him out. “Is it your father’s time?” he asked, “Is it here and now?” Then the MIB seemed to freak out like a malfunctioning robot.
He began repeating “your father – his time” over and over and became rigid and immobile. As he moved towards the door he had to use his hands to help move one of his stiff legs. He told Adele to “watch the lights” before leaving in a hurry, disappearing down the street at a sci-fi rate of knots.
Just after the MIB left Adele’s living room filled with small bright lights which danced around before zipping through the window.
I like that story, I don’t believe it at all unfortunately, but that’s a good one isn’t it? I’ve saved the best for last though, click onto the next slide for our very own Dan Aykroyd’s MIB story.
