5 Crazy Dictators You Need To Know About

3. General Mariano Melgarejo

A general with a glorious beard and a fan of white stallions, Mariano Melgarejo was president of Bolivia for 7 years. He lost power after his first few months when the previous President came back. Old Melgarejo had a cunning plan; he shot Mr President in the face.

Once he gained complete power, that’s when the shit hit the fan. The countries bordering soon realised he was a tad insane so decided to use this to their advantage. Chileans traded gifts for treaties and borders. It was Brazil who got the big stuff. They gave him a horse. Not just any horse, trading loads of your land for just any horse that would be considered stupid. His swap was for a magnificent white stallion named Holofernes. Holofernes was brought to Presidential parties with his party being able to drink beer and piss all over the guests. He was even made General of Bolivia. That’s right; at one point a horse was the General of a whole country.

Unfortunately it seems I would not have favoured well in Melgarejo’s reign. When a British ambassador did come to Bolivia Melgarejo was not fan. Although really it was the British dude’s fault, he declined the Presidents favourite drink. You don’t say no to someone who was crazy enough to trade his country for a horse. Choosing instead to drink cocoa, the ambassador was forced to drink it until he was sick. He was then taken for a backwards spin on a donkey, around the square 3 times. For some reason this upset Queen Victoria, who declared that Bolivia “didn’t exist”. Should of offered Mariano a nice zebra, then it might not have.