There are thousands of ways for a 12-year-old to get suspended from school, but never did I think that selling sex toys would be a legitimate one. How the hell do you even know what a sex toy is at that age?

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Well, it turns out that 12-year-old Frances Halbeck from Wisconsin didn’t realise they were sex toys either, because they weren’t. She arrived at school seeking to sell the famous water snake wigglies kid’s toys for a dollar each to help raise money for autism and her teacher initially allowed her to do so. But she was later pulled out by the principal during a basketball match. She was then admonished in front of her classmates, suspended for three days and sent home.

Her father Milt was outraged by this decision, and immediately went to see the school about it. However, the principal Pamela Ampling refused to change the decision and the school board are siding with her too, even though this has now turned into international news. Milt is saying that he isn’t going to let it rest until his daughter’s name is cleared:

In your wildest imaginations, no adult could possibly view this as a sex toy, this is a water-filled bag.

Frances is also pleading innocence in the whole affair and you can pretty much believe her on this one – she is 12 after all:

It just calms you when you touch it. You squeeze it, it’s cold, and it’s hard to hold sometimes.

Now I’ve seen something I shouldn’t have.

No shit. In fairness the water snake wigglies are a bit weird and disturbing when you look back on them knowing what we know now, but in reality when you’re 12 they’re just some thing you can play with and throw in your mate’s face. This whole story is a complete and utter joke to be honest and I hope the school gets shut down for fostering stupidity and encouraging sexual behaviour. Idiots.

For more sex toys, check out these ten really disturbing ones. You’ve been warned.