9) Crunchy Nutter
I worked in an upscale Mediterranean place in Baltimore. One night I got a two-top with a woman in her 40’s and her younger son. I started talking her through the menu and describing options (standard server script) and finally started talking about our artisan pizzas. She immediately interjected with “NO I can’t do pizza! I have an allergy.” I obviously inquired as to the type of allergy and how serious it was, to which she responded, “I have a crunchy allergy.”
Now, I don’t usually lose face, but I’m almost certain I looked, at the very least, deeply perplexed, so she tried to clarify: “Anything crunchy I am allergic to.” I assumed she meant she has sensitive teeth or something, but this was a nice place, so I was required to make allergies known on every ticket, which resulted in our executive chef screaming to see me every time I rang some plate of crunchless whatever.
At the end of the meal they order dessert which was a custard, but it had a crispy “tuille” or cracker in it so I warned her, to which she responded: “Crispy is fine, it’s crunchy I’m allergic to.”
