McDonald’s attracts a whole range of customers from all over the world. I’m sure that most of you reading this aren’t stupid enough to live off the stuff and just indulge once in a while – after all, it is pretty much the perfect drunk food/hangover cure. And who can resist the occasional McChicken Nugget?

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On the other side of the Maccy’s arches, you’ve got the Middle America consumers who literally pulverise the shite to force feed their one year olds before they get a chance to be corrupted by breast milk. You know the kind who would literally stab a baby if they got refused McDonald’s cookies at the Drive-Thru. Turns out these people are actually pretty dumb. So dumb in fact that they make the most insane requests at the Maccy’s counter that depressed employees reckon it’s worth posting them online. Here are some of the most idiotic we could find:

Malfunction

McEmployee: Are you sitting in or taking out?

Customer: Sitting in but the tray won’t work?

McEmployee: Sorry what?

Customer: The tray won’t work, I’ll need a bag.

McEmployee: I’ll carry the tray for you.

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Could you be more specific?

Customer: Can I have a burger please?

McEmployee: Hmmm which one?

Customer: You know the one you get with the meal?

Erm…

McEmployee: Do you want a medium or a large meal?

Customer: Yes.

Meditating chicken

Customer: I’ll have a meditating chicken meal?

McEmployee: It’s Mediterranean…

Mind reader

Customer: Can I have a McDonalds meal?

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Braindead

Customer: Excuse me? My fries are cold.

McEmployee: There’s like 7 left madam.

Deal breaker

Customer: Hi can I have a Big Mac please?

McEmployee: Would you like that as a meal?

Customer: No thank you

McEmployee: Anything else?

Customer: Could I get a medium fries and a coke as well?

Lobotomy meal please

McEmployee: Alright sir, that will be (amount).

Customer: Ok. I was gonna pay with my credit card, but I left it at home.

McEmployee: Oh, ok. Do you have cash?

Customer: I-I’m paying with my card.

McEmployee: Oh. Um, didn’t you just say that you didn’t have it?

Customer: No, I’m paying with my card, I just don’t have it with me.

McEmployee: Sir, you need to have you card with you to-

Customer: (slides finger along card-reader)

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Taking the piss

Customer: Aww, are you closing? I just wanted a couple of burgers.

McEmployee: Well we are about to close, but we can make a couple of burgers. No problem.

Customer: Okay, let me have 18 burgers, 16 fries, 2 onion rings and 18 sodas.

Get a grip

Customer: How much is the 99p cheeseburger?

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Feeling better about your personal level of intelligence? I thought so.

For more on Maccy D’s, check out these absolutely insane Asian fast food menu items.